Current Affairs

William and Kate, struggling for a baby name?

With the royal baby's name yet to be confirmed, The Jackal wades in with some helpful suggestions...

I don’t know about you, but team Jackal is waiting with baited breath for news of the royal baby’s name. In fact, speculation’s running rife around the office. Will it be Tiberius or Tobias? Jeremy or Joseph? Lawrence or Lazarus? We’ll hear soon enough, but in the meantime, here’s hoping he takes it from one of these fine figures.

Alexander Thynn, Jackal magazine1. Alexander

Alexander seems to be a front-runner for the royal munchkin’s name. If that does come to pass, we can but hope the choice will be inspired by Alexander Thynn, 7th Marquess of Bath. Known simply as ‘the rock ’n’ roll peer’, he’s the custodian of the Longleat estate and established its famous safari park in 1966. He’s also known for his bohemian tendencies. In fact, he’s often been spotted wandering his grounds in a purple velvet frock coat and beret, daubing psychedelic murals on the walls or entertaining one of his 75 ‘wifelets’. Louche.

Confucius, Jackal2. Confucius

True, it’s unconventional, but few names could be more appropriate for a potential future monarch. The Chinese philosopher was a prominent advocate of personal and governmental morality, correctness of social relationships, justice and the power of sincerity. His followers competed successfully against many other philosophical teachings during China’s ‘Hundred Schools of Thought’ era between the 6th Century and 221BC, popularising moral codes which shaped the politics of China for centuries after his death.

Alan Turing3. Alan

Without Mr Turing, of Bletchley Park and enigma machine fame, this green and pleasant land would almost certainly not exist in the form it does today. Plus, if they give the monarchical dumpling a name like Alan he’s bound to turn out to be clever chap.

Edward Fox, Jackal magazine4. Edward

After Edward Fox, the 81-year-old British actor and thoroughbred 1960s style icon. It goes without saying, he’s also The Jackal’s spiritual leader.

James Brown, Jackal magazine5. James

The Godfather of Soul, James Brown, is a musical icon by any measure. Plus, whichever way you cut it, the royal family could do with an injection of cool-factor.

Arsene Wenger, Jackal6. Arsene

What more significant moment to mark than the resignation of Arsenal’s esteemed Manager of 22 years – not a bad innings by all accounts. If the royal couple wants to bless their offspring with longevity and prosperity in equal measure, they could choose a lot worse.

Sophocles, Wellcome Collection7. Sophocles

The ancient Greek tragedian knew a thing or two about hubris and its dangers – handy intel for the young prince to absorb. Moreover, history tells us that in his day he was the most celebrated playwright on the planet, winning 24 dramatic competitions in Athens and producing a corpus of 120 plays in total. Of course, for this reason he’s also a seminal figure in the development of drama – not a bad thing when us Brits love a celebrity spectacle.

Sir Thomas More, Jackal magazine8. Thomas

Few men in history have shown a more nuanced understanding of political responsibility (in thoroughly irresponsible times) than Sir Thomas More, Henry VIII’s fabled and unfortunate councillor. His seminal work Utopia, published in 1516, documents the governmental and ideological systems of a perfect island nation and brings truths to bear that are still searingly relevant in our world today. After all, ‘an absolutely new idea is one of the rarest things known to man.’